Both my babies are napping. All I hear is the slight hum of the heater. I cannot tell you how much I look forward to nap and bedtime. Is that sad that I get excited for my kids to go to sleep so that I can finally have my respite?

I love my kids to death and would do ANYTHING for them, but I miss “me time”. I miss not doing anything, or mindlessly watching junk on tv, and painting my nails, and surfing online. And damn, I miss getting out of the house. I can’t remember the last time I even saw the inside of a mall.

I keep reminding myself, it’ll get easier. It’ll get better. I know it will. But right now when Naomi is 14 months, and Beau is 2 weeks old, it’s pretty difficult. Naomi loves Beau and showers him with kisses and hugs. She’s a little too clumsy, a little too strong , but this girl has a lot of heart. She doesn’t know any better right now, or does she?

She’s definitely acting out. Maybe she’s still adjusting to the addition of our growing family, but Chris would say, “don’t make excuses for her” she’s in the terrible 2’s already. Already?? She’s still a baby. She doesn’t understand when I try to reprimand her. She thinks it’s funny even with my stern face and voice. The only punishment that seems to get a cry from her is when I put her down and not let her be near me. But I don’t know if thats doing more damage to her psychologically or not.

There are plenty of moments where I feel guilty that I don’t get to spend the special moments of bonding with Beau as a newborn the way I did with Naomi. I often have to put him in the bouncer which is placed on top of the table, so Naomi can’t get to him. And then I play with Naomi and read books. But then when I do have to pick Beau up and Naomi is crying out of frustration or angst, I feel awful that she might be feeling slighted and left out or uncared for int hat split moment.

It’s a juggling act with these two. Thankfully, Beau has been a cooperative baby. And he truly is wonderful.

Uh oh. Nap time is over. Only 7 more hours til bedtime….